


Injustifié

by louvreangel



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt No Comfort, Spoilers, Tragedy, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 10:26:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18636271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louvreangel/pseuds/louvreangel
Summary: *spoilers for Avengers: Endgame* Clint's POV during and after the incident. Somethings you just can't fix.





	Injustifié

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: If you haven't watched Avengers: Endgame, don't read this fanfiction.  
> Click out right now because this fanfiction is based on one big fat spoiler.
> 
> A/N: I can't stop writing for these two, I just can't. I can't stop my pain being my muse at the moment. Sorry guys if I'm making you feel bad too. I'll write a "Fix-it" fanfic too though! After I've recovered from the movie, of course.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to mourn for her. He wanted to have a little bit more time with her, alone, with everyone gone. He just wanted to tell her he missed her. He wanted to show her that they’d won.

He wanted to cry his lungs out and scream her name into the void, just so he could maybe find some peace of mind. Some peace in his heart.

He remembered how she yanked her wrist out of his hold and let herself fall into the deep pit of death. A cruel death awaited her and she didn’t care not one bit about dying right at that moment. He saw determination in those beautifully glistening eyes of hers and knew he was about to lose this fight. A battle of who was more willing to die. They almost killed each other trying to stop one another. It really would have been laughable if the situation wasn’t a matter of life-or-death.

Why wasn’t he strong enough? Why wasn’t he the one who died? Why did she have to do this to him? 

She wasn't even trying to get the stone for the team. She was just trying to save his ass because she cared for him way too much not to try and save him.

He’d much rather they had both fallen down and died in that place together. So nobody would be able to blame them for not succeeding. There would be no one to return the stone, nobody would come back and the team would know they failed their mission. Nobody would know how it happened or what actually went on up on that mountain. Nobody would be able to say anything because two of their team members would have been dead. Who could question such a thing?

He wished he had died with her on that night. He didn’t want to live in a world without Natasha-his confidant, his best friend, his first love, his kids' godmother-in it.

He regretted not kissing her goodbye.

He regretted not telling her how much he loved her—even though he was sure she knew already.

His family was there for him but it just wasn’t enough anymore. A part of him was empty now, numb and lifeless.

_"Tell my family I love them._   
_You tell them yourself."_

So he did. He told them he loved them everyday. He really did. And he meant it too. Because it was true. He loved all of them. But a part of him regretted everything and anything all at the same time.

Nothing could ever be the same again without  _her_  in his small world of his. Nobody could heal him, nothing could make him feel less guilty. Not his wife, not his kids, not his friends. Nobody could convince him that this pain would go away in time and he would move on eventually. Moving on had never been an option ever since he saw her letting go of his hand to sacrifice herself for him. This was something nothing could fix for him. Not in a million years.

He was scarred and traumatized. He missed her so, so, so much. Just...  _so much_.

Maybe he didn’t die that day on that mountain, but he kept dying on the inside, little by little, every single day for the rest of his life.


End file.
